I grew up in a house where there was no opportunity to overeat. My mother bought groceries to make 3 meals a day from scratch. Between my mother’s healthy attitude to food and being a very physically active kid I did not have weight problems as a child. However, I know from my obsession with food, especially dessert, that I had the diseased brain of a compulsive overeater from a very young age.
It was as an adult that I started to eat like a compulsive overeater. The longer I was left to my own devises with food the more my addiction took hold. As an adult living away from my mother I had the money and freedom to eat all the foods I had obsessed about as a child. I also could eat multiple portions of what I wanted, when I wanted. It was after having my 3 children that weight became an issue. I then spent the next 18 years going up and down the same 30 pounds always obsessed with my weight and what I ate. I tried many diets and schemes to try to control my weight and my food.
I also ate for emotional reasons. Any part of life I couldn’t handle, deal with or wouldn’t face would send me to the food. I would eat until my stomach hurt so bad I didn’t care what was happening in my life. I would wait a few hours until there would be a tiny bit of room in my stomach and then I would eat more.
I came into program 10 years ago as a result of a prayer. I prayed for peace of mind with food. I had reached a point where I didn’t care what I weighed, what I looked like or what number was in my clothes. I just desperately wanted some peace of mind with food. The answer to that prayer was Overeaters Anonymous. Thanks to God, the 12 steps, 12 traditions and the fellowship of OA I am currently 10 years abstinent from compulsive overeating and compulsive food behaviours. I believe I am at a healthy body weight and have been so for 3 years. I subscribe to the notion that what I weigh is none of my business. What is my business is what I put in my mouth and the footwork I do to work the 12 step program of OA.
I now live life on life’s terms. I have a peace of mind with food that is a miracle to me. I eat 3 healthy meals a day, one day at a time and I do not obsess about food. I have accepted that I am powerless over food and turn my will and my life over to God daily. I have a full and vibrant life. I am able to be fully present and enjoy life moment by moment.
In the last 4 years I have faced several of life’s major stressers: life threatening health problems, hospitalization, workplace stress, relationship trauma, family crisis, divorce, parent with dementia and moving from my home of 20 years. Through all of this I have been abstinent and living life to the fullest.