What I Learned About Myself in Step Six

After finishing Steps Four and Five, I went into Step Six with my list of character defects. Initially, I thought this step was simple and straightforward. I didn’t think there would be any reasons to want to hang on to any of my defects.

Then, after actually thinking about each defect and what they were doing for me, I came to some surprising conclusions.

I realized that I felt like many of my defects (such as being overly competitive, proud, angry and self-seeking) gave me an edge and made me a more interesting person. Defects like playing God and being too competitive have given me the illusion of being in control when I wasn’t.

I also had to take a long look and what issues my defects were causing me. Most of them (dishonesty, lack of sympathy, selfishness and pride) have crippled the emotional connections I have with other people.    Many of the defects are also directly connected to my compulsive eating – anger, pride and an excessive competitive streak cause me stress that leads me to binge eat. Being selfish, dishonest and unsympathetic causes me to isolate from others, and isolation also makes me turn to unhealthy eating habits.

Working this step made me realize that my defects and my compulsive eating are intricately connected, and giving up these defects will only bring me closer to a full spiritual awakening

~ Kayla, BC

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